SAFEHOUSE (A BWWM BILLIONAIRE ROMANCE) Read online

  As we stepped onto the gangplank, I gripped the bar tightly in my hand, the skin on my knuckles paling. The forced smile on my face wasn’t fooling anyone.

  Julien was right behind me, his hand on my waist as he tried to guide me up the steep slope. I was so focused on the water that I hadn’t really taken in just how big his boat really was. I guess it was to be expected that Julien wouldn’t settle for less…

  The yacht was like a white iceberg against the creamy blue of the horizon. Hulking, strong, yet the lines and planes of it were soft and regal. If someone had asked me what I thought about boats in general, I would've been pretty much indifferent. But now, standing in front of this masterpiece masquerading as a boat, I had to admit they were pretty cool.

  Once we were inside, I paused for a moment. There had been plenty of instances within the past few weeks where I’d been completely overwhelmed by what I was seeing. This was turning into another one of those moments. When you think of a boat, you think up something very simple, something that gets you from one point on the water to the other.

  This wasn’t that kind of boat… This was a mansion on the water.

  Instead of the antiquated look that the château possessed, the yacht had a more modern feel. It was more Julien.

  He squeezed me from behind, his hands circling me tightly. "So, what do you think?’" I could hear the smile in his voice.

  "I've never seen anything like it. It’s beautiful, Julien."

  Julien dropped his hands, walking over to one of the many counter spaces along a long wall. "This boat is something quite special to me. My great-grandparents were fishermen, and they used to fish right on the coast of France. They came from nothing and made a way for themselves… And for the rest of my family… They were good people, and this boat is my small tribute to them."

  I nodded, raising my brow for effect. "This is one hell of a tribute…"

  He narrowed his eyes at me, playing along. "Are you trying to suggest that my intentions here are not completely humble in thought?"

  I laughed, rolling my eyes at him. "You said it, not me."

  “What can I say… I enjoy the greatest pleasures in life…”

  He grabbed my wrist and spun me toward him, his eyes blazing. I bit my lip as he embraced me up against the wall. His mouth came down on mine hard, pressing deeply against me, more so than ever before. His hands traveled at my sides, gripping my waist tightly again.

  Suddenly I was completely aware that someone was watching us out of the corner of my eye.

  "Uh, Julien?" I muttered, pulling back for a moment. He quickly pulled away from me, straightening out both my top and his jacket. The man in the fancy hat cleared his throat and looked away. Well, at least I wasn't the only embarrassed party here.

  "I apologize sir. I only came to tell you that we are getting ready to disembark. Shall I go ahead and pull anchor?"

  I couldn't help but giggle. Hearing the way the guy spoke so formally cracked me up.

  It didn't take long for the man to disappear, taking off to what I assume to be the yacht’s version of a cockpit. And now Julien was all mine once more. But he had other things on his mind...

  "Let me go ahead and show you to our quarters. I think you'll be very pleased."

  And with that we were off, going down not one deck but two, to where the entire bottom half was a cozy yet spacious bedroom, with a beautiful en suite. I shouldn't have been surprised, but it was still overwhelming. Every new little thing I saw, every little thing that he showed me was a delightful gift… And coming from what had happened to me before… Being so far away from the rest of the world with Julien? It was hard not to get wrapped up in my feelings.

  He sat down on the squishy bed, patting it for me to sit down. When I did, he turned towards me more, something fierce in his eyes. I didn't know what he was about to say, but it seemed serious. And I didn't think I was ready for serious, when there was so much more fun to get into this weekend.

  "Amira… I just wanted to say… I love you.”

  My eyes widened, but I said nothing. How could I? My brain was frozen in time, wishing he could go back and replay the very words he’d just said to me. He loved me. He was in love with me. And here I was, unable to find the words to reply... Why did I always freeze up like that?

  I cleared my throat, excessively trying to get past lump that was forming in it. Even after a few deep breaths, it was hard for me to formulate anything to say. Anything that made sense, anyway. I smiled meekly at him, the room starting to spin around me violently fast. More breaths, deeper and deeper. And faster. It only took a moment before Julien realized that I was hyperventilating, much to both of our dismay.

  "Not the reaction I was going for… Amira, are you okay?” he asked in as soothing a way as he could.

  My heart was jumping for joy somewhere under all the panic. I quickly tried to fan myself, hoping that more air would break me out of this freaky breathing thing I was doing.

  Julien pulled me back up to the main level to a convenient seaside window, cranking it open carefully. I pressed my face along the thin windowsill, trying to take in deep breaths of the clean fresh sea air.

  A few minutes later, once I had recuperated, my eyes welled up with tears. I looked over at Julien, frowning.

  "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I don't know why I get like that sometimes."

  He shook his head, quietly shushing me, and wiping away the tears that were falling down my cheeks. "There's no need to apologize, Amira. You don’t have to feel the same way… Not yet… But I can’t go on without letting you know."

  I had to laugh, especially at his silliness. Of course I loved him back, how could I not? "You can't be that dense. You know that I love you… I was given a second chance at life, and I you’re the reason.”

  A wide grin spread across his face, and I knew exactly what that meant…

  Two hours, many layers of clothes, and a couple glasses of wine later, I was panting in bed alongside Julien. The sweat was dripping down my face, but I was so blissed out that I couldn’t care less. He pulled back out of me slowly, groaning as he did. His breath was soft across the back of my neck, and he pulled me closer even still, cuddling against my backside. It was amazing how quickly we could go from something so wild to something so loving and beautiful, all in one fell swoop.

  Was this what love was like? It was no wonder people wrote songs and movies and plays all about it.

  Lying there next to him, it occurred to me that maybe we should get up and eat something. Maybe even talk and enjoy the sunset together. Really though, all I wanted to do was to continue to lie next to him in peace. It just felt right, my skin up against his. His fingers pulling the curly tendrils of my dark hair away from my face and kissing me chastely right on the cheek. Listening to his breathing and heartbeat calming down along with mine…

  Julien’s face was ghostly in the dim light of the cabin, but I could still make out the lines of his eyes. They were fluttering shut, striking me as maybe the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen…

  Yep. I finally understood the word lovestruck.

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  Chapter 25

  We pretty much stayed the rest of the evening in bed, laughing at ourselves. Every now and then I would catch a glimpse of the water meeting the sky outside the window, the line between them fading as the night wore on. It was hard to believe it had already been most of the day since I had seen the outside of the room, but then again… maybe it wasn't that hard to believe.

  We ended up having dinner in bed, thanks to Julien’s lovely staff on board. I couldn't quite remember the captain's name, but the cabin boy Peter was very nice to me. I sat there with Julien tangled up in the sheets and covers and eating from a fancy silver tray. I had to laugh watching Julien down the crepes. As lean as he was, I found it pretty entertaining to see just how he could go to town on some sweets.

  "So, what do you have in store for us tomorrow?" I asked him
, twirling my fork around in the pasta before scooping it up and bringing it to my mouth. I groaned—it tasted like heaven.

  Julien cleared his plate off, his brown eyes sparkling at me. "I was thinking of fishing. Have you ever been fishing before?"

  I snorted. "Not exactly. Does involve putting little wriggling worms on hooks? Because if it does, no way. Not a fan of injuring poor little worms just to catch a fish. But that's just me."

  He comically rolled his eyes at me, shaking his head in mock indignation. "It's the circle of life, Amira. And no, we will use lures, not live bait. I'm not looking to catch anything big. Marlin are off-season right now.

  "I guess there's always a first time for everything." The very idea of fishing kind of seemed boring to me, to be honest, but if it meant something to him, that meant something to me, too. It would definitely be interesting to see where tomorrow would bring us.

  After finally making it to the first level deck, I took in a breath of fresh air, enjoying the breeze that whipped around my blouse. It felt good to be out in the open again, even though watching the waves undulate had a certain ill effect on me. I tried not to think about it, but it was hard not to notice how my stomach roiled in on itself. Hopefully I could keep it from Julien, because Lord knows he would bring me right back to land if he knew I was getting seasick.

  And I was having way too much fun on the yacht, anyway.

  Julien came around the corner, equipped with two large fishing poles and that amazing grin of his. God, how could I say no to that? It was completely impossible, if you asked me.

  "This one is for you," Julien said, handing me the smaller pole, "And this one is for me. It looks more complicated than it is, believe me. So just follow my lead and you should have no problems."

  I raised my brow at him. "Yeah, we'll see about that." I wasn't putting too much faith in the fact that I could actually fish. That would be the day.

  We set to work rigging up our fishing poles, me falling more than anything else. Julien made quick work of his, before stringing mine up just right. He tried to get me to practice a couple different baits, but I resisted, already feeling nervous about swinging a long line with a hook hanging from it around.

  "Aren’t you worried you’ll get hurt? I'm afraid that if I whip this baby around too much, it will end up snagging into your beautiful mouth. And I couldn't do that, no way," I explained.

  He just laughed at me. "We're not going fly fishing, Amira. We’ll drop the line into the water and wait. Easy, no?"

  I felt my cheeks reddened. “I guess.”

  Julien cast his line in first, coaxing me to do the same, as he stood behind me with my hands wrapped around the pole. It felt nice having him close against me again, but I was letting my mind wander off way to quickly before I gave myself a chance to focus.

  I finally dropped my line into the water with a soft plink. Hmm, I thought to myself. Maybe that wasn't so bad after all.

  It turned out that fishing was way, way easier than I thought it would be. I felt a huge tug at my fishing pole line almost instantly. Julien coached me on as I quickly tried to roll the reel back in my hand. As I reeled it in, Julien looked over the side, his eyes wide.

  "You did it! Take a look at this," he shouted, helping me bring up the last few feet of the line. At the end of it was the strongest little tiny fish I’d ever seen swinging and swaying in the wind. I immediately felt bad.

  "How much would you hate me if I wanted to let the fish go?" I asked, feeling silly that my lip was trembling looking at the poor fish. I hated seeing the hook hanging out of its mouth.

  "Ah, ma chérie, you have a kind heart. I understand if you do not want to keep it. Here, I'll show you how to let it go."

  I didn't want to touch it, but he insisted, so we unhooked the fish together and I was happy to toss it back into the sea.

  Now that I was looking out at the water, it was kind of hard to remember being scared of it. It was so calm, almost as if the surface was glass and not liquid.

  A few more hours passed, with Julien finally catching two more fish and handing them off to the cabin boy before the sun sunk past the horizon line. It was a relaxing day, and I couldn’t have spent it in better company.

  When we finally went downstairs to the cabin, I found that his chef had made some sort of special treat for us. Pulling the tray open I saw the fish Julien had pulled from the ocean. At least I knew it was going to be fresh

  Dinner was short and sweet because it was pretty obvious we were ready to go to bed… If that's what you want to call it. I hadn't even made it to the bottom deck before Julien's hands were firmly around my waist. There was no mistaking his intentions.

  His lips grazed my earlobe, before trailing down to my collarbone, sucking on the skin between his teeth. My head lolled back, and I bit back the moan that rose in my throat. He was so good at pulling these noises from me. My body practically sang with feeling when he dropped down and yanked my pants and underwear down to my ankles. His tongue lingered over the apex of my thigh, so patiently. But I was nowhere near as patient. I needed him, and I needed everything he was about to do to me. I needed it more than the breath that kept escaping my lungs in quick little pants.

  His hand found purchase over my upper abdomen, following upwards until he was cupping the curve of my breast, squeezing the tender flesh there. His tongue darted between my folds so gently. When I looked down at him through hooded eyes, I was brought back to the moment he told me he loved me.

  We were in the bed before I knew it, me rising up over top of him, crying out as his hips met mine over and over again. I reached my arms behind myself, arching my back as I rode him faster. I would never want to stop doing this. There would never come a time where there would be somewhere else I'd rather be. And every time he whispered to me as he slid back inside of me I wanted to drink in the words. They were my drug of choice.

  I didn't know my plans past this temporary placement that had become my life, but I knew the future had to include Julien. It just had to…

  I fell asleep in his arms, happy…

  But something was wrong.

  I was there again.

  Crouched on the floor, hoping to God that he would keep walking. But he wouldn't turn back and see me, pathetically trying to hide behind the cleaning cart. But he did, just like he always did. But this time instead of the other two men jumping on him, he had finally done what he set out to do. The gun was in his hand, the second bullet ringing out, ringing through my head, exploding. I don't feel it at first, until I feel the wetness on my hand, as I bring it away from my chest. No one's there to save me this time. No one hears me cry out.

  I shot up, completely drenched in my own sweat. I didn't even realize I had been screaming until Julien rolled over from his side of the bed, drowsy but panicked.

  "Are you okay? What happened? Did you have another bad dream?"

  I couldn't answer him, because he knows the answer. There was no reason to bring it back up. Yes, I had another nightmare. I probably would always have them, according to the shrink they made me see. There was nothing I could do about it, but hopefully it would be another month before I had it again.

  Julien just pulled me up against his chest, trying his best to soothe me. It only took a few minutes, but I finally calmed down enough to thank him for being there for me. Even in the dark I could see him smile, though he was still half-asleep. He really had no idea, but I would make sure he would find out one way or the other just how much he meant to me.

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  Chapter 26

  The rest of the weekend had been incredible. The open ocean was beautiful, but we mostly spent our time below decks. Julien was trying even harder to get my mind off of the nightmares, which seemed to be happening more frequently than not. I didn’t know what was triggering them, but wished whatever it was would stop.

  When we finally made it back to the château, not much had changed. At least Marie wasn't about to say anythi
ng negative about the times Julien would sneak me away from my duties…

  The days turned into weeks, and then the next thing I knew, it had been three weeks since our weekend on the Mediterranean. I couldn't believe how fast time is flying by.

  Julien was away working for the past week. He told me how much he hated leaving me, but I knew he would be back. I had total faith in him and I wasn't gonna let any kind of weird insecurity sneak up on me. I had let myself trust him, because if I couldn't, where would that leave us?

  Marie kept me plenty busy, but Alain also took the time out of his day to show me the ins and out of landscaping. I wanted to have something nice to show Julien when he came back home, sort of like my own little surprise for him. I didn't have billions to drop at the turn of a dime, but I had my own special powers. Sort of.